Saturday, November 7, 2009

Hearing Loss and no jobs in sight or help

Since I signed up with Voc Rehab, I haven't been able to get the assistance I need. A lot administration crap preventing my assistance....since my original posting about my hearing loss I did all that I was supposed to do, my counselor was being tied up with his boss's "rules" and whatever else that was being held up. Because of that and the fact that I have been struggling without having a job and when I do get lucky enough to get the interview, I have noticed that I barely get through the interview without having some trouble with understanding what was said. That is more than frustrating!!! I am giving up hope. Aside from no jobs being available, I can't spend any money looking for a job when we aren't able to do this. I try very hard on a daily basis of either writing out my thoughts to keep myself from going crazy. I try very hard to put on a smile daily for my husband. Recently he was sick with a cold and fever, that alone scared me to death!! He nearly died a year ago and I don't want anything to happen to him. I am scared to be alone....he took longer than most to get back on his feet. I'm happy that he is ok, but that still doesn't help that I am worried about him.

I have noticed that when I go shopping for groceries that I can't hear some people when they are talking to me, I don't know if it's the noise levels or if it's they aren't speaking loud enough, I have to rely on reading their lips to understand them. When Brian goes with me to get the groceries, he sometimes forgets that if his back is towards me then I have to grab his arm or anything to get his attention and have to have him repeat himself. I know this bothers him a lot and makes him just as frustrating! I am tired....maybe I'll write again later....

Friday, August 28, 2009

Fort Smith AR

Fort Smith Arkansas is mainly an industrial town. Gerber, Planters, Rheem, Whirlpool, Baldor, and a few other major companies, including a new one that should open sometime in the new year, Mars Petfoods. Big deal.....Why do I say that? Well in order to get one to one of these companies you would need to go to a EMPLOYMENT agency to be screened to work there if they want you. On the other end of the spectrum, they're laying off at Rheem and Whirlpool and the K-Mart is closing at the end of this month. Are we in an economic recession? You decide! I on the other hand have pretty much give up looking for work when my qualifcation are not within the realm of the industrial side of this city. I live SE of Fort Smith in another town of close to 7,800 give a take or few. I am giving up on the whole idea of looking for a job to help my husband pay the bills, trying to look for a job with only 1 car that is working is really hard to do. I can't seem to find a real job being able to work from home without being scammed. Am I the only one who is in this situation? Of course not! I just don't know where they are! Another factor to consider in this situation is that I am loosing my hearing and have been for several years, since I was 2yrs old. I've applied for disability and have been denied 2x because I don't sound deaf.....what in the hell does that mean??! No matter what I do, it just doesn't seem be working out in anything that I I guess I'll just have to resort to my writing. I have a project that I am working on....a book. About my first marriage as the victim of abuse and loosing primary care of my three kids. Yes you read that right. Not coming from a FINANICALLY WELL OFF family like my ex-husband, I didn't have the money to fight in court. I didn't have the self esteem that I do today because of him. The best part of all this, is he doesn't live here!!! I am happier spite not having a job that is helping us pay the bills in this house. Fort Smith really doesn't have that much to offer either. Sure there's a few places trying to come in and start up, but when there are thousands of people out of work and a small handful of jobs that have come open, it's really hard to compete with that!! Anyway you decide whether or not that this economy really is "good" or not....